╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ SHADYTEL SECURITIES & EXCHANGE FILING SYSTEM // v0.9.1 ║ ║ NODE: toorcamp.local FILING STATUS: [TRANSMITTED] ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
To our valued investors, operators, and Shadytel network participants:
It is with great pleasure — and strictly appropriate professional detachment — that we present ShadyFans' first quarterly earnings disclosure covering the ToorCamp 2026 operating period. What began as a premium metered talk-time service on the Shadytel network has matured, over the course of approximately 96 hours, into a vertically integrated pay-per-minute party line platform with measurable EBITDA and a going-concern opinion that we consider, at minimum, mildly optimistic.
Gross Transaction Volume for the period reached ₷2,770.00, driven by strong demand across both our ShadyBucks electronic payment rail and our proprietary Hell Bank Note (physical paper) settlement instrument. Our flagship operator, @regex_rex, alone accounted for 39.0% of platform revenue and continued to demonstrate that lookahead feelings remain an underserved market segment.
We also note the successful execution of a multi-channel distribution strategy: Porta-John placements delivered organic reach to a captive audience across all camp facilities, while two 30-second spots on KLOL 95.3 FM (pirate, unlicensed, frequency tolerance ±0.3 MHz) provided broader awareness. Both channels were complemented by our partnership with the Beerocracy team, which enabled frictionless customer onboarding — defined here as handing someone a beer and explaining that they can call a party line with their camp money.
We remain committed to responsible stewardship of shareholder ShadyBucks, transparent operator compensation, and the continued belief that a ₷4-per-minute existentialism hotline staffed by @void_ptr_vera is a fundamentally sound long-term asset.
Respectfully submitted,
The ShadyFans Executive Team
c/o Shadytel Network, Toorcamp, WA
For the three-day period ended June 27, 2026 ("ToorCamp Period"). All figures in ShadyBucks (₷). Figures are illustrative based on internal platform telemetry. Audited by Raccoon & Associates LLP under Generally Accepted Camp Accounting Principles (GACAP). See accompanying notes.
| Line Item | ₷ Amount | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Revenue | ||
| ShadyBucks electronic transactions (67 txns) | ₷1,847.50 | Note 2, 3 |
| Hell Bank Note redemptions (23 notes × ₷40.11 equiv.) | ₷922.50 | Note 5 |
| Gross Transaction Volume (GTV) | ₷2,770.00 | |
| Less: Operator Revenue Share (70% of GTV) | (₷1,939.00) | Note 6 |
| Net Revenue | ₷831.00 | |
| Operating Expenses | ||
| Platform infrastructure (Vercel, KV storage, DNS) | (₷240.00) | Note 8 |
| Radio advertising — KLOL 95.3 FM (2 × 30-sec spots, settled in stickers) | 6 stickers | Note 9 |
| Hell Bank Note production & physical distribution | (₷85.00) | Note 5 |
| Beerocracy onboarding partnership (in-kind, beer) | (₷100.00) | Note 10 |
| General & administrative (passphrase generation overhead) | ₷0.00 | — |
| Regulatory compliance, licensing, legal counsel | ₷0.00 | Note 7 |
| Total Operating Expenses | (₷575.00) | |
| EBITDA | ₷256.00 | 30.8% margin |
| Non-Cash Charges | ||
| Depreciation — one (1) rotary telephone, demo unit | (₷12.00) | Straight-line, 1-yr life |
| Amortization — Hell Bank Note intellectual property | (₷8.00) | Note 5 |
| Total D&A | (₷20.00) | |
| EBIT (Earnings Before Interest & Taxes) | ₷236.00 | |
| Below-the-Line Items | ||
| Interest expense | ₷0.00 | Note 4 |
| Tax provision | ₷0.00 | Note 7 |
| NET INCOME | ₷236.00 | |
ShadyFans reports operator performance as a single reportable segment: "Party Line Services." The following table disaggregates GTV by individual operator line for disclosure purposes. Operator share (70%) not deducted below — segment GTV shown at gross.
| Operator Handle | Rate | Minutes | Segment GTV | % of Total | Subscribers | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| @regex_rex ★ FEATURED | ₷15/min | 72 | ₷1,080.00 | 39.0% | 847 | ● LIVE |
| @SIGTERM_sam | ₷10/min | 63 | ₷630.00 | 22.7% | 401 | ● LIVE |
| @0x_shady_lady | ₷12/min | 48 | ₷576.00 | 20.8% | 512 | ● LIVE |
| @k3rn3l_karen | ₷8/min | 41 | ₷328.00 | 11.8% | 293 | ● LIVE |
| @malloc_molly | ₷6/min | 18 | ₷108.00 | 3.9% | 178 | ○ OFFLINE |
| @void_ptr_vera | ₷4/min | 12 | ₷48.00 | 1.7% | 64 | ○ OFFLINE |
| TOTAL | — | 254 min | ₷2,770.00 | 100% | 2,295 | 4 live |
The Company notes that @regex_rex outperformed all other operators by a significant
margin despite — or perhaps because of — offering services categorized as "regex therapy" and "lookahead feelings."
Management believes this validates our thesis that unmet emotional demand for pattern-matching support
is a durable market dynamic at technically-oriented gatherings.
@void_ptr_vera and @malloc_molly were
marked OFFLINE for portions of the period, contributing to lower utilization. The Company is exploring
whether existentialism (₷4/min) is optimally priced given that the theoretical value of pointing nowhere
and everywhere simultaneously may, under certain philosophical frameworks, be infinite.
A pricing committee has been formed; it has not yet reached consensus.
| Payment Instrument | Transactions | GTV | % of GTV | Avg Txn Size | Settlement |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| ShadyBucks (electronic) | 67 | ₷1,847.50 | 66.7% | ₷27.57 | bucks.shady.tel |
| Hell Bank Notes (paper) | 23 | ₷922.50 | 33.3% | ₷40.11 | Physical / KV passphrase |
| TOTAL | 90 | ₷2,770.00 | 100% | ₷30.78 | — |
Hell Bank Note commentary: The 23 notes processed represent
a dual-clearing instrument: the physical note is surrendered to the operator (constituting
physical-layer settlement) while the digital passphrase provides cryptographic proof of
redemption stored in Vercel KV with a 7-day TTL. The Company views this as a pioneering
hybrid physical-digital payment architecture and has filed no patents, because we are
at a hacker camp and patents are uncool.
Each Hell Bank Note redeems for 5 minutes of operator time. At blended operator rates,
this implies a per-note face value of approximately ₷40.11 — meaningfully above the
₷4/min floor and reflecting the inherent value premium of asynchronous physical currency.
Management notes that Hell Bank Notes cannot be refunded, reversed, or chargebacked,
which compares favorably to traditional fintech settlement risk profiles.
The following risk factors may materially affect ShadyFans' business, financial condition, and results of operations. This list is not exhaustive. Investors should carefully consider these risks before tendering ShadyBucks.
Raccoon & Associates LLP
Certified Camp Accountants · ToorCamp 2026 · Jurisdiction: A Field
To the Shareholders, Operators, and Dial-In Customers of ShadyFans, Inc.:
We have audited the accompanying condensed consolidated financial statements of ShadyFans, Inc. for the three-day period ended June 27, 2026. Our audit was conducted in accordance with Generally Accepted Camp Auditing Standards (GACAS), which require that we plan and perform the audit to obtain reasonable assurance that the financial statements are free from material misstatement, whether due to fraud, error, or someone leaving the switchboard unattended.
Our procedures included: (1) inquiry of management, specifically asking "does this look right?" and receiving an affirmative nod; (2) physical inspection of the Hell Bank Note inventory; (3) reconciliation of the Vercel KV passphrase ledger against the admin console; and (4) tracing a sample of ShadyBucks transactions through the authorize–capture flow to the bucks.shady.tel merchant API. We did not confirm balances directly with the monetary authority as the Raspberry Pi was busy.
In our opinion, the financial statements present fairly, in all material respects, the financial position of ShadyFans, Inc. and the results of its operations for the reporting period, in conformity with GACAP. We draw attention to Note 7 (Tax Position) and the "Camp Duration Risk" factor, which together raise substantial doubt about the Company's ability to continue as a going concern through Q2 2027. This doubt is partially offset by the fact that ToorCamp happens every other year.
This report does not constitute an opinion on internal controls, ICFR, SOX compliance, PCAOB standards, or any other acronym. Raccoon & Associates LLP accepts payment in ShadyBucks, Hell Bank Notes, and snacks.
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ SHADYFANS, INC. // FORM SF-10 // TOORCAMP 2026 ║ ║ [SHADYTEL] [KLOL 95.3] [BEEROCRACY] [ALL RIGHTS YOLO] ║ ║ THIS IS NOT INVESTMENT ADVICE. THIS IS NOT REAL MONEY. ║ ║ OPERATOR STANDING BY. YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US. ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
PREPARED BY RACCOON & ASSOCIATES LLP · FILED VIA SHADYTEL SECURITIES TRANSMISSION SYSTEM